Freshers Week Take Two

Second year of uni new start right…

So I’m living in a new house with different people from last year. Massive relief, as most of you have already read my blog about one of the people I lived with last year, who I just couldn’t get on with. Well this year I am living with one of my very bestest friends. Now there are not many people I will just go into their room and get in their bed or many people I would cook for (this is partly because she tried to feed me raw chicken!) or there isn’t many people that I would share chocolate with. True friendship right. One night we were both in bed reading in bed and sharing a nougat bar another housemate comes in and laughs at us because we are old ladies. But all that makes living in one of the most horriblest houses in maybe the WORLD bearable.

I wanted to start this year off being really good and reading most of the books before I came back, okay this is me, it never happened. But if I am completely honest, I didn’t read many books last year, perhaps four! Let me just tell you I had to read four books a fortnight… Yes I was a bad student! But fresh start this year and I believe I have already read four books and we are only just going onto doing some proper work!!  The only trouble is how am I meant to keep up with all this reading and have a life?

I saw a tweet the other day that said something along the lines of ‘you can only have two of these things: a social life, good grades or enough sleep.’ So yes like everyone I said I would rather not get enough sleep but surely sleep is the key thing to being able to achieve good grades but to also keep up a good social life, I have said many times “ohh I can’t be bothered to go out tonight, I’d rather sleep.”  These first two weeks we haven’t hit the clubs hard, okay we had a crazy house party but we haven’t been out every night and if I’m honest the nights we have been out haven’t been as good as last year. Are we now getting too old for all these excitable Freshers?!

So just to quickly round up year two has a horrible (I forgot to mention spider infested) house, a hell of a lot more reading and me growing old before my time. Now normally things come in threes, well not this time, I am yet to tell you all that my favourite lecturer has left!!!

Mark (the best lecturer ever!! You make think I’m being biased but no word of a lie, the best) has left my uni and has left me with lecturers I have never had before and ones that will defiantly not put up with me being a little bit of a monkey in lecturers and also would not be bribed with chocolate and sweets. I was in a seminar and no one was feeling working I had to think on my feet to take one for the team “Mark what you up to this weekend?” every single person went quiet and then laughed, but the whole class happily had a chat about camping. This is something I will dearly miss about my second year; none of my lecturers are going to want to chat when they can be talking about some real interesting book.

Things change and yes we sometimes don’t want them to but without change how are we meant to grow. There is still I lot that I need to learn to do that I need to push my comfort zone to the side and think I just need to grab anything I can. I believe you won’t get to where you want to be if all you do is ‘be safe’. 

I Really Wouldn't Change My Friends For Anything

I’ve definitely been slacking with this whole blog writing fandango. Not being at uni should have meant I should have lots of time to write, well far bloody from it.

All I do with my life is work, for those that don’t know I work at McDonlads and don’t get me wrong I do love my job just when you are there all the time, well yeah you don’t love it as much.

Needless to say my job has recently got me into a little bother. I was very much looking forward to going to a festival with the uni girls, like a complete and utter idiot I fought I had booked it off, yeahh when the shifts went up my heart was in my mouth when I saw I was working the BANK HOLIDAY WEEKEND of the festival.  I was not stupid enough to even ask anyone about doing my late shifts as all the lucky buggers would have been hitting the town hard or at Reading or Leeds (grrrrrr).

The moment you have to tell your best friend that you can’t go to Reading is one of the worst things ever (I exaggerate a little, but it still wasn’t very nice).  And I did and still do feel like one of the worst friends ever. 

What choices did I have:

To ring work and say I wasn’t doing the shift, one I am not that brave, work would eat me alive and two I really didn’t want to lose my job.

Or to sell my ticket and not go, this leading to me being a terrible friend.

Okay I am rambling a little, there is a point I am trying to make.

What really makes someone a bad friend? Forgetting to book a weekend off work in my opinion is not that bad, okay be a little mad for a few days but at the same time realise it’s not just you that missed out on having your best friend at the festival they missed out on it all together.

And not talking to someone for what seems like forever until you two get close again and it feels like you can tell them everything. Not talking to someone can’t make a bad friend. In my eyes friendship isn’t about telling someone what you are doing when you are doing it (yes I did bbm my best friend telling her about my dog pooing a stupid amount on our walkies, but hey someone needs to laugh at the thought of it).

The fact is if anyone ever needed anything of me I really would try my hardest to help, need that be listen or to help with what they needed. The fact is I do think I am a good friend to most people and I hope people think I am a good friend to them.

Sometimes I guess you just need to think this will really hurt my friend so I’m not gonna do it or say it. Friendship is one of the best things in life, where the hell would we all be without it? 

Forget About Love, Lets Just Have Fun

I am not very good at expressing my feelings. Thinking about writing this blog is making me feel sick to my stomach. I find it hard showing how I feel about things never mind telling people. I am one of them kind of people that would rather people not know how I am feeling and what makes me tick because in my opinion they can hurt you more.

I find it hard to show affection to people, the only person who I am naturally lovey towards is my dog (the poor thing, I treat her like a baby). Okay so yes it is sad that I can only be caring and nice towards my dog but that really is just how am. Not only do I not like being loving to people but I have such a dislike for people be nice to me. Is it weird that I can only take complaints before I go out partying, well if I’m honest no I don’t think it is.

In my opinion there is nothing worse than drunken texts when people tell you that they love you. I have nothing again being in love and all that but in my personal opinion it takes years and years to fall in love with someone. I also don’t think you can be 15 and in love. I don’t get why everyone is so crazy about this whole love thing.

At the end of the day yes at some point in my life I want to fall in love but that really does need to be in the future, I just don’t think I can handle the thought of it at the moment.


Out of the stream and into the night,
A head and heart beginning to fight.
Time passes by, tick tock, tick tock,
The chains around your wrists prepare to lock.
Lack of control your head crumbles,
Your vicious heart strongly rumbles.
A female cries,
As your "I lovge you"'s rise and rise.
Fear, sorrow, anger, frustration,
Why couldn't you have had a little consideration?
Casting your emotional state onto someone else,
I hope you realise these feelings were false, false, false.
Your emotions heightened by what you'd call fun.
But you cannot undo what has already been done.
Humiliation is the expressions that is best to fit,
The question is, was the fight really worth it?

Why rust into something you have your whole life to live. Don’t get old and boring when you’re young. Your teens and early twenties are for living, partying and having as much fun as possible!

Summer means Fun

It’s the time of the year that everyone you know seems to be going on holiday or are very close to going on holiday. Am I jealous? Hell yes!! Who does not want to go on a lads holiday (yes I know I’m not male but a lads holiday sounds so much better than a girls holiday!)

I feel like a drinking holiday with your friends is something that needs to be done; it is just one of them rituals, a right of passage.

In-between the end of sixth form and going to university seems to everyone the ideal time to go and looking bad, I would most defiantly agree with that, as now I have finished my first year of university it feels like all I am doing is saving for when I go back!! If I am not saving so that I can pay my rent, I am saving for books for my course (why, why, why did I pick a bloody expensive course!) or I am saving so that I will be able to survive when I am at university, let’s face it can’t give up on the nightlife.

Let me tell you, this ‘saving’ business is not nice, I am working my bum off and by that I mean doing a seven day week last week. It is a bloody good job I love working there or my life would be almost unbearable (melodramatic I know). But seriously after a very stressful shift all I want to do is treat myself, I am not very good at stopping myself having a sneaky look on the Warehouse website, in my defence all they do is e-mail me, how am I expected to stay off the website when they tell me about all their offers? I am after all only human after all.

Anyway I am a true believer of everything happening for a reason so not having my holiday with my friends this year is not the end of the world but I just have to hope that things will be different next year and people will be able to afford to have an experience that will make their summers (and hopefully their lives (wishful thinking I know)).

So here’s my point even though I am not going on a drinking holiday I still want this summer to be one of the best summers I have had. I have so much to look forward to nights out with the girls, my birthday and READING!!

Yes I need to stop complaining about the holiday I am not going on as I am going to Reading festival but honestly this is most defiantly an amazing second best! I am already excited thinking about it and I can’t wait to write about it as I am very sure some classy things will happen that need to be shared.

So everyone make the most out of the summer, it really is the best season.

And girls take note I want a holiday next year ……

Awkward silence? Who needs that when you have your Girlies

I like every other girl like to tell my girls everything from boys to make up. There are not many people that know as much about me as my girlies do. Although I am a private person that likes to keep people from knowing my business but these people I do not minding knowing everything good and bad about me. But once something happens to break that trust in them how can everything be the same.

Recently something happened, someone said something and this has made me doubt how much of a friend someone is to you, where their loyalties lie and can I really trust them with my secrets. I know friendship is not all about being able to keep secrets; in my opinion it’s about being there for each other, spending time together when you can just sit and not talk for hours because there is no awkward silence and having a laugh together.

Yes I admit I am not the best person at keeping in regular contact with all my friends all the time. If that makes me a bad friend then think what you may, but if they needed me no matter what time of the day or what it was they needed I would do my very best to do what I could for them.

So I am stuck in the situation where I am unsure if to tell them I know what they have done or to just forget about it. I do not like conflict, if it is very necessary then it is acceptable but I would rather not be involved in an argument over silly things.

Just to state I may have just said that I do not want to argue over silly things but I have no idea if this issue I am in is a ‘silly thing’ or not. I don’t want to end a friendship because I am over reacting.

Although I may be over reacting by feeling totally betrayed by the whole thing I feel that I need them to tell me why they did what they did. They would be a fool to think that I would not find out what they did.

At the end of the day I would rather have a few friends I would trust with my life than lots and lots of friends that don’t care about me.

Everyone should laugh once a day

So as it is coming to the last few days of being at University me and my friends have been thinking about the year. About how we all became friends, which consisted of me and another girl sitting with this lad and he really did not like us but from there is really seems to be such a blur. I’d like to think I was always meant to be friends with these people, as they defiantly are friends I would like to have for life.

As this year has gone so quick and lots of funny things that have been said and done have been forgotten about. Now I cannot speak for everyone but I love hearing about funny things I have done when I am really drunk, to an extent I can laugh at myself. But recently we have been talking about funny things that I do when I haven’t been drunk.

For example, we are in our American seminar and we are talking about Las Vegas and I come out with something along the lines of “aren’t they making it less casinoy?” believe me when everyone laughed I felt so stupid I not only came out with a stupid comment but made up the word “casinoy”, this was all made a hell of a lot worse by my accent making it even more funny. Yes I felt like a complete idiot!

A lot of people pick up on my accent and say to me that I am Northern, well no I am not Northern I am from the Midlands, there is a difference. But maybe the worst first impression I gave was when at the beginning of the year our lecture was really empty, Mark the lecturer asked why, my reply in my Northern accent was “they’re all probably ‘angin’”. Everyone looked at me as if to say what on earth is she talking about. Although I am an English student yes it is acceptable to not talk the Queen’s English. (For those whole still are not sure what I meant, I meant hungover!) Damn my accent!

There have been some very good times this year in my lectures, some days I would go into University and be like, I really can’t be bothered to learn today, so I would just have a little chat with Mark (the lecturer), after he had done the register of course, that really was the best part of the seminars. In one of my lectures no one wanted to work, which is no surprise, everyone hates poetry right! So someone said to me, “come one Danielle keep him off topic”, I had no idea what to say so I came out with “So Mark what you up to at the weekend?” Yes everyone laughed and I did feel a little silly but it did the trick, we then talked about camping.

So less about actually being in University and more about the social side and what stupidly funny things I have done, believe me there have been plenty! Now I hope you all know the song 212, well I will admit it is one of my favourites at the moment, I made it my mission to learn the words to it. I cannot help myself but drag every word I say so having to fit all the words in such a short space is hard! As I wanted to show my best friend my well good efforts in learning all the words I recorded myself on my webcam as I do get a little embarrassed, when I showed her she laughed so much, yes at both my horrendous singing and at what an idiot I looked! (Please have a little vote and tell me if you think I should or shouldn’t start a video blog).

Another time I got videoed dancing to Wuthering Heights, another of my favourite songs yes. This video I have not seen, I would bloody love to as I was slightly drunk at the time and I really want to know how bad it is. Standing on your sofa dancing like a complete fool drunk is what everyone would find comedy gold. Unfortunately the video would not load onto Facebook, believe me I am as gutted as anything! I do like a little laugh at myself. Sorry guys I know I said I would not talk about funny drunken moments but this was just so classy of me I could not help but bring it up.

The point I am getting at is as I am looking at my extremely heavy case that I will have to run with tomorrow unless I am okay with missing my train (believe me I am not okay with that! An hour is a long time to wait) I have had a good time here, I’ve made so many memories and when I have sad days about missing this place and the friends I have made here I just want to think of all the funny things that have happened and also hope that I made people smile along the way.

So to anyone that I am leaving just think of the good times.

Look Down, Smile and Be Proud

I’m sorry guys I’m lowering the mood a little.

Everyone has a secret hobby that they are too embarrassed to tell anyone about, well mine is writing poems. I will not lie and say yes I’m so amazing at writing them; the truth is I am not too good at but hopefully I’ll get better with time and practice.

It is also no lie that I bloody love English.

The first proper death I experienced was when my Grandma died. This hit me hard. It hadn’t helped that the night I found out I had been enjoying myself drinking; this made me feel so incredibly guilty, I know that it is okay to have a little drink with your friends and have a good time but I just felt that I had let her down. It also did not help that I was a little drunk so snuck upstairs and got in bed. I had been in bed when I heard my mum and aunty talking and this was the moment that I found out that she had died. The moment you don’t know what to do, if to say something or if to be a wimp and pretend you hadn’t heard it. I did the second one. I wanted to pretend it was a dream. It wasn’t until my mum came in my room and told me that it really hit me. I had only spoken to her a few days ago, the conversation was so short, there was so many things I wished I would have said.

Something I want to make every member of my family is pride.

I wanted to do something to make her proud, even if I didn’t make it to University I wanted to dedicate something that meant a lot. So I went to my English teacher and asked her how to start writing a poem; she told me that ‘if you feel that deeply about it, it will come to you’. These words will stay with me forever.

I started writing

Speechless.

Not knowing, maybe, the worst thing in the world. The not knowing what a funeral is, the abstract noun, un definable. In my eyes a way of celebrating life, in others well a way of saying goodbye. Really is it goodbye? Or is it hello?

But how can such a word be sistered with love, hate, jealousy? Words which hold such power. This weak word seldomly used. Thinking deeply I'm wrong, the amount of raw emotion that goes into the single word is too extreme to bare to talk about in day to day lives. Like expletives!

The extreme contrast between celebrating and black. Does that make my opinion of it wrong? Who is to tell me that I am wrong, is everyone wrong or is everyone right and funeral really is un definable?

How can you really let go without celebrating? Celebrating doesn't mean forgetting, far from the opposite. To celebrate you remember, you remember the good times. You remember the bad times. You even remember what you thought you had forgotten.

Although it is one thing writing a poem it is another telling people about it let alone asking to read it at the funeral. As I am such a wimp I hid it from everyone for months and months. This is something I think I regret the most.

Everyone deals with things in different ways, if that be writing your thoughts and feelings down or if that be going and getting drunk, all you can ask for is that you have good enough friends that will look after you, be there for you and that you can talk to about anything.

I’d like to think that if anyone ever needed me I would be able to listen and give the best advice I can.

And Grandma, I hope you are looking down on me and smiling.