A Facebook Stalk

Let me just close Facebook and have a moment.

Sometimes it just takes one person, hat you trust their opinion, to be like “look, what are you doing girl? Sort yourself out”.

Okay so it wasn’t as nicely put together as that, although if someone had said that it would have done the trick. But if I was to word it exactly how they had it would one embarrass me and to be honest I can’t remember.

This was said because I do and I will! After they thought that were harsh but tough love is the best, I would rather have the harsh truth.

So after this I was trying to make myself feel a little better by just having a gander at people on Facebook, finding out the gossip and that but then I came across someone that I just couldn’t get off their profile.

This is so hard. Writing blogs drunk is so much easier, that’s most likely because I don’t care. But now I just feel like I don’t want to be too open on here.

Okay, so in the past I have really liked lads and silly me has just been having a Facebook stalk. OMG like how desperate – that’s what everyone’s thinking right because I would if someone said that. But hello! Everyone does it.

So, yeah, there’s this certain lad and it just ended really badly. I like to just have a little look on his profile every now and again (even though we aren’t friends). I just like to see how he is doing.

I know it’s bad. I should just stay away from his profile, but it is so hard.

I just feel that I regret how things have worked out. I am in no way saying that I want to be with him because I really don’t, everyone knows when relationships aren’t gonna work, this one wasn’t. But I do think that it wouldn’t have been that bad if we would have still been friends.

One of the worst parts is that he text me on my birthday, it was such a lovely thoughtful thing to do and I was a bit taken back by it. I wasn’t as nice as I should have been I was very offhand with him but to be honest it was my birthday and it was a busy day. So when it came to his birthday I didn’t do anything. Now I feel really bad but at the time I had my excuse:

·         .I don’t have his number

·        .We aren’t Facebook friends

·         .I’m not friends with any of his friends

·         .I just couldn’t private mail him seen as the last things that we said aren’t pleasant and I wouldn’t have wanted anyone to reread them.

What I really want to do is pick up a pen and write him a letter. I find it so much easier actually writing things down.

I know full well that once something has happened you cannot change it. And I know I previously said that I regret it but if it hadn’t have happened then I wouldn’t have learnt and grew from the experience.

In life I like to think things happen for a reason, this gives me hope that my actions can never fully (I want to say destroy but I feel it’s too powerful) mess my life up. 

Cheesy But True

It has been too long since I last wrote a blog. To be honest it has been a lack of inspiration and a lack of time! I wrote a blog the other day but I was too worried I’d get too much bad criticism, was a risky subject.

Like most people my age I have an iPhone and go on Instagram a fair bit (okay more than a bit, everyone likes a cheeky double tap!). I was just having a little look at other people’s pictures and came across women’s rules or something like that. These consisted of pictures of quotes.

As I was reading through these quotes I realised how I really needed to take on board what they were saying. I know everyone will think “omg these quotes are like well cheesy” and yes they are but I don’t really care. When I saw them they made me happy and for anyone that has this perfect life that they don’t need cheering up, smell the roses!

The #56 Rule of a Lady:

It’s okay not to be okay.

Okay so this made think you know what, everyone is feels sad at times and it is okay. It’s normal.

The #75 Rule of a Lady:

Crying does not indicate that you are weak. Since birth, it has always been a sign that you are alive.

This one is so relevant to me! I don’t cry! Okay when I’m drunk I do a little but that does not count in my eyes. So yes I don’t cry and when you actually do, it is a bloody shock to the system. You have to have bad times that you cry about because if you lived a ‘safe and easy’ life it would be boring and let’s be honest, you wouldn’t really be living. I learnt crying is good. (I would still hate it but not so much, I’d rather do things that would make me upset than have regrets).

The #30 Rule of a Lady:

Be careful who you open up to. Only a few people care, the rest are just curious.

I learnt very recently that I need to open up to people. I am a private person; I hate everyone knowing what’s going on with me. But choose wisely who you open to up, with me I wouldn’t tell anyone who I didn’t trust, I’d like to think who I tell things to do actually care and are not curious. I guess this quote is one that you learn from your mistakes from.  

The #61 Rule of a Lady:

If you aren’t happy single, you won’t be happy taken. Happiness comes from within, not from men.

A lot of people are like “I hate being single”, I personally don’t, but it is very easy to say “life would be so much happier with a boyfriend”. No, no it wouldn’t. You can’t have things going on it your life that make you unhappy and think that adding someone else into your mess is going to make you happy. Relationships are not everything. Be happy in yourself and when a relationship is the right thing for you it will come along. At least that what I hope so anyway.

I haven’t really had a good few weeks and seeing these quotes made me feel that things will get better. No matter how weak, alone or unhappy you feel, you just have to think of something that will make you feel better… or talk about it. 

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You know what, I am not the type of girl to be all lovey dovey but to have someone like that would be amazing.

I don’t really like showing lads how I feel hence why I’m “too sarcastic or just plain mean”.

Lads seem to always think girls want serious relationships and to be honest, no I don’t want to marry you but let’s just see how things go.

Normally I play it too not botheredy (if that’s even a word) and I come across not interested, but tell me, how can a girl be interested without coming across too keen? Okay to the lad I don’t come across keen or even interested but inside and to my friends I am crazy about them.

I can’t see a balance between too keen and not interested. I kinda feel I’m back to year nine where I don’t really know how to act around lads (okay a certain lad).

I don’t want to risk being too proud/embarrassed to say the truth but do I really want to not say anything at the same time?

Half of me is telling myself grow up Danielle he is a silly crush and you are thinking a little (lot) above your level of hotness…

And the other,

Go for it girl what you got to lose? Other than your dignity and embarrass yourself. So not a lot really.

I guess at heart no matter how old we are when it comes down to “love” we are all as clueless as each other. We just need to rely on the good advice of our friends to help us out and lead us to the right decision.

A Taste of America

Today one of my dreams has just been shattered.

I am meant to be reading as after the whole three weeks I have had off I have read about one page of one book. Slightly pooing myself as assignments are starting to get thrown at us and the seminar I have tomorrow only has a number of seven students (this is the only thing I agree with Mitt Romney with, class sizes shouldn’t be that small!! I can’t even hide the fact I haven’t read the book and there is no chance it will be finished for tomorrow at 9am).

I just had to bring a taste of America to my blog, by taste I mean, I am now going to shove in your face all about my trip to Florida. Although everything was amazing, there were two very key events of the holiday that will just be imprinted in my memory forever.

Swimming with dolphins. Like come on! Who wouldn’t want to swim with dolphins! I know I had said to my mum days before I wasn’t that bothered but as soon as I knew we was actually doing it I was instantly excited. Not to mention the excitement I felt just before I got into the water with them and let me tell you that it wasn’t just because I was stupidly hot in the body suit I was wearing (that I really didn’t want to take off, one of the most ugliest things I have fallen in love with), the freezing water cooled me down almost instantly. I actually got the privilege to kiss the salty lips of Roxy the dolphin. I just couldn’t turn down Roxy.

The second thing, I just can’t describe how inspired I am by it! When our mini agenda for the day was planned out I wasn’t that bothered about seeing some killer whales doing tricks, it was more about the dolphins. But oh my god! The Shamu show was incredible. There really is no words I can use to explain just how in awe I am of the Shamu clam and the trainers. We sat in the splash zone and it is not a splash zone it is a hell of a lot more than that! We was all soaking wet! But that is the beauty of it. Okay I admit the salt water getting thrown at us wasn’t amazing but the vibe, let me say no more.

When we came to deciding what we wanted to do/see again I made it clear that I wanted to see the Shamu show again. But this time we sat where we was able to take pictures, yes it was still good but I didn’t get the same feel as I did when I sat in the splash zone. I am not an emotional person but the show brought tears to my eyes. For anyone that knows me well you will get how good it actually was! I’m not a crier.

So here is why I am totally and utterly heartbroken. I want to be a whale trainer.

Yes laugh all you want but I want a career that I can inspire people. So my plan was if teaching doesn’t work out for me I’ll just go to SeaWorld and be a whale trainer in the Shaum show. Well I thought wrong!! You have to have like a degree in marine biology! Like what!!! Me biology! Be able to dive (I’m more of a belly flop kind of girl) and swim really fast. Im currently in bed stuffing face with chocolate to hide the fact that I could have been a really good whale trainer if they would have given me an easier way to be one. I was really good at training my dog to do tricks, I never ever got mad at her or anything (had to have a little sarcasm in there)!

But don’t worry guys, if this whole English thing doesn’t work out I will just have to get myself a degree in marine biology!

Just like to say a massive thank you to my mumsie who took us to Florida.

Dreams really do come true!

Freshers Week Take Two

Second year of uni new start right…

So I’m living in a new house with different people from last year. Massive relief, as most of you have already read my blog about one of the people I lived with last year, who I just couldn’t get on with. Well this year I am living with one of my very bestest friends. Now there are not many people I will just go into their room and get in their bed or many people I would cook for (this is partly because she tried to feed me raw chicken!) or there isn’t many people that I would share chocolate with. True friendship right. One night we were both in bed reading in bed and sharing a nougat bar another housemate comes in and laughs at us because we are old ladies. But all that makes living in one of the most horriblest houses in maybe the WORLD bearable.

I wanted to start this year off being really good and reading most of the books before I came back, okay this is me, it never happened. But if I am completely honest, I didn’t read many books last year, perhaps four! Let me just tell you I had to read four books a fortnight… Yes I was a bad student! But fresh start this year and I believe I have already read four books and we are only just going onto doing some proper work!!  The only trouble is how am I meant to keep up with all this reading and have a life?

I saw a tweet the other day that said something along the lines of ‘you can only have two of these things: a social life, good grades or enough sleep.’ So yes like everyone I said I would rather not get enough sleep but surely sleep is the key thing to being able to achieve good grades but to also keep up a good social life, I have said many times “ohh I can’t be bothered to go out tonight, I’d rather sleep.”  These first two weeks we haven’t hit the clubs hard, okay we had a crazy house party but we haven’t been out every night and if I’m honest the nights we have been out haven’t been as good as last year. Are we now getting too old for all these excitable Freshers?!

So just to quickly round up year two has a horrible (I forgot to mention spider infested) house, a hell of a lot more reading and me growing old before my time. Now normally things come in threes, well not this time, I am yet to tell you all that my favourite lecturer has left!!!

Mark (the best lecturer ever!! You make think I’m being biased but no word of a lie, the best) has left my uni and has left me with lecturers I have never had before and ones that will defiantly not put up with me being a little bit of a monkey in lecturers and also would not be bribed with chocolate and sweets. I was in a seminar and no one was feeling working I had to think on my feet to take one for the team “Mark what you up to this weekend?” every single person went quiet and then laughed, but the whole class happily had a chat about camping. This is something I will dearly miss about my second year; none of my lecturers are going to want to chat when they can be talking about some real interesting book.

Things change and yes we sometimes don’t want them to but without change how are we meant to grow. There is still I lot that I need to learn to do that I need to push my comfort zone to the side and think I just need to grab anything I can. I believe you won’t get to where you want to be if all you do is ‘be safe’. 

I Really Wouldn't Change My Friends For Anything

I’ve definitely been slacking with this whole blog writing fandango. Not being at uni should have meant I should have lots of time to write, well far bloody from it.

All I do with my life is work, for those that don’t know I work at McDonlads and don’t get me wrong I do love my job just when you are there all the time, well yeah you don’t love it as much.

Needless to say my job has recently got me into a little bother. I was very much looking forward to going to a festival with the uni girls, like a complete and utter idiot I fought I had booked it off, yeahh when the shifts went up my heart was in my mouth when I saw I was working the BANK HOLIDAY WEEKEND of the festival.  I was not stupid enough to even ask anyone about doing my late shifts as all the lucky buggers would have been hitting the town hard or at Reading or Leeds (grrrrrr).

The moment you have to tell your best friend that you can’t go to Reading is one of the worst things ever (I exaggerate a little, but it still wasn’t very nice).  And I did and still do feel like one of the worst friends ever. 

What choices did I have:

To ring work and say I wasn’t doing the shift, one I am not that brave, work would eat me alive and two I really didn’t want to lose my job.

Or to sell my ticket and not go, this leading to me being a terrible friend.

Okay I am rambling a little, there is a point I am trying to make.

What really makes someone a bad friend? Forgetting to book a weekend off work in my opinion is not that bad, okay be a little mad for a few days but at the same time realise it’s not just you that missed out on having your best friend at the festival they missed out on it all together.

And not talking to someone for what seems like forever until you two get close again and it feels like you can tell them everything. Not talking to someone can’t make a bad friend. In my eyes friendship isn’t about telling someone what you are doing when you are doing it (yes I did bbm my best friend telling her about my dog pooing a stupid amount on our walkies, but hey someone needs to laugh at the thought of it).

The fact is if anyone ever needed anything of me I really would try my hardest to help, need that be listen or to help with what they needed. The fact is I do think I am a good friend to most people and I hope people think I am a good friend to them.

Sometimes I guess you just need to think this will really hurt my friend so I’m not gonna do it or say it. Friendship is one of the best things in life, where the hell would we all be without it? 

Forget About Love, Lets Just Have Fun

I am not very good at expressing my feelings. Thinking about writing this blog is making me feel sick to my stomach. I find it hard showing how I feel about things never mind telling people. I am one of them kind of people that would rather people not know how I am feeling and what makes me tick because in my opinion they can hurt you more.

I find it hard to show affection to people, the only person who I am naturally lovey towards is my dog (the poor thing, I treat her like a baby). Okay so yes it is sad that I can only be caring and nice towards my dog but that really is just how am. Not only do I not like being loving to people but I have such a dislike for people be nice to me. Is it weird that I can only take complaints before I go out partying, well if I’m honest no I don’t think it is.

In my opinion there is nothing worse than drunken texts when people tell you that they love you. I have nothing again being in love and all that but in my personal opinion it takes years and years to fall in love with someone. I also don’t think you can be 15 and in love. I don’t get why everyone is so crazy about this whole love thing.

At the end of the day yes at some point in my life I want to fall in love but that really does need to be in the future, I just don’t think I can handle the thought of it at the moment.


Out of the stream and into the night,
A head and heart beginning to fight.
Time passes by, tick tock, tick tock,
The chains around your wrists prepare to lock.
Lack of control your head crumbles,
Your vicious heart strongly rumbles.
A female cries,
As your "I lovge you"'s rise and rise.
Fear, sorrow, anger, frustration,
Why couldn't you have had a little consideration?
Casting your emotional state onto someone else,
I hope you realise these feelings were false, false, false.
Your emotions heightened by what you'd call fun.
But you cannot undo what has already been done.
Humiliation is the expressions that is best to fit,
The question is, was the fight really worth it?

Why rust into something you have your whole life to live. Don’t get old and boring when you’re young. Your teens and early twenties are for living, partying and having as much fun as possible!