Everyone should laugh once a day

So as it is coming to the last few days of being at University me and my friends have been thinking about the year. About how we all became friends, which consisted of me and another girl sitting with this lad and he really did not like us but from there is really seems to be such a blur. I’d like to think I was always meant to be friends with these people, as they defiantly are friends I would like to have for life.

As this year has gone so quick and lots of funny things that have been said and done have been forgotten about. Now I cannot speak for everyone but I love hearing about funny things I have done when I am really drunk, to an extent I can laugh at myself. But recently we have been talking about funny things that I do when I haven’t been drunk.

For example, we are in our American seminar and we are talking about Las Vegas and I come out with something along the lines of “aren’t they making it less casinoy?” believe me when everyone laughed I felt so stupid I not only came out with a stupid comment but made up the word “casinoy”, this was all made a hell of a lot worse by my accent making it even more funny. Yes I felt like a complete idiot!

A lot of people pick up on my accent and say to me that I am Northern, well no I am not Northern I am from the Midlands, there is a difference. But maybe the worst first impression I gave was when at the beginning of the year our lecture was really empty, Mark the lecturer asked why, my reply in my Northern accent was “they’re all probably ‘angin’”. Everyone looked at me as if to say what on earth is she talking about. Although I am an English student yes it is acceptable to not talk the Queen’s English. (For those whole still are not sure what I meant, I meant hungover!) Damn my accent!

There have been some very good times this year in my lectures, some days I would go into University and be like, I really can’t be bothered to learn today, so I would just have a little chat with Mark (the lecturer), after he had done the register of course, that really was the best part of the seminars. In one of my lectures no one wanted to work, which is no surprise, everyone hates poetry right! So someone said to me, “come one Danielle keep him off topic”, I had no idea what to say so I came out with “So Mark what you up to at the weekend?” Yes everyone laughed and I did feel a little silly but it did the trick, we then talked about camping.

So less about actually being in University and more about the social side and what stupidly funny things I have done, believe me there have been plenty! Now I hope you all know the song 212, well I will admit it is one of my favourites at the moment, I made it my mission to learn the words to it. I cannot help myself but drag every word I say so having to fit all the words in such a short space is hard! As I wanted to show my best friend my well good efforts in learning all the words I recorded myself on my webcam as I do get a little embarrassed, when I showed her she laughed so much, yes at both my horrendous singing and at what an idiot I looked! (Please have a little vote and tell me if you think I should or shouldn’t start a video blog).

Another time I got videoed dancing to Wuthering Heights, another of my favourite songs yes. This video I have not seen, I would bloody love to as I was slightly drunk at the time and I really want to know how bad it is. Standing on your sofa dancing like a complete fool drunk is what everyone would find comedy gold. Unfortunately the video would not load onto Facebook, believe me I am as gutted as anything! I do like a little laugh at myself. Sorry guys I know I said I would not talk about funny drunken moments but this was just so classy of me I could not help but bring it up.

The point I am getting at is as I am looking at my extremely heavy case that I will have to run with tomorrow unless I am okay with missing my train (believe me I am not okay with that! An hour is a long time to wait) I have had a good time here, I’ve made so many memories and when I have sad days about missing this place and the friends I have made here I just want to think of all the funny things that have happened and also hope that I made people smile along the way.

So to anyone that I am leaving just think of the good times.

Look Down, Smile and Be Proud

I’m sorry guys I’m lowering the mood a little.

Everyone has a secret hobby that they are too embarrassed to tell anyone about, well mine is writing poems. I will not lie and say yes I’m so amazing at writing them; the truth is I am not too good at but hopefully I’ll get better with time and practice.

It is also no lie that I bloody love English.

The first proper death I experienced was when my Grandma died. This hit me hard. It hadn’t helped that the night I found out I had been enjoying myself drinking; this made me feel so incredibly guilty, I know that it is okay to have a little drink with your friends and have a good time but I just felt that I had let her down. It also did not help that I was a little drunk so snuck upstairs and got in bed. I had been in bed when I heard my mum and aunty talking and this was the moment that I found out that she had died. The moment you don’t know what to do, if to say something or if to be a wimp and pretend you hadn’t heard it. I did the second one. I wanted to pretend it was a dream. It wasn’t until my mum came in my room and told me that it really hit me. I had only spoken to her a few days ago, the conversation was so short, there was so many things I wished I would have said.

Something I want to make every member of my family is pride.

I wanted to do something to make her proud, even if I didn’t make it to University I wanted to dedicate something that meant a lot. So I went to my English teacher and asked her how to start writing a poem; she told me that ‘if you feel that deeply about it, it will come to you’. These words will stay with me forever.

I started writing

Speechless.

Not knowing, maybe, the worst thing in the world. The not knowing what a funeral is, the abstract noun, un definable. In my eyes a way of celebrating life, in others well a way of saying goodbye. Really is it goodbye? Or is it hello?

But how can such a word be sistered with love, hate, jealousy? Words which hold such power. This weak word seldomly used. Thinking deeply I'm wrong, the amount of raw emotion that goes into the single word is too extreme to bare to talk about in day to day lives. Like expletives!

The extreme contrast between celebrating and black. Does that make my opinion of it wrong? Who is to tell me that I am wrong, is everyone wrong or is everyone right and funeral really is un definable?

How can you really let go without celebrating? Celebrating doesn't mean forgetting, far from the opposite. To celebrate you remember, you remember the good times. You remember the bad times. You even remember what you thought you had forgotten.

Although it is one thing writing a poem it is another telling people about it let alone asking to read it at the funeral. As I am such a wimp I hid it from everyone for months and months. This is something I think I regret the most.

Everyone deals with things in different ways, if that be writing your thoughts and feelings down or if that be going and getting drunk, all you can ask for is that you have good enough friends that will look after you, be there for you and that you can talk to about anything.

I’d like to think that if anyone ever needed me I would be able to listen and give the best advice I can.

And Grandma, I hope you are looking down on me and smiling.