Six Months Later...

It’s been such a busy few months. So much has happened yet I’ve had no inspiration to write.

That was until recently.

I really liked someone that I shouldn’t. If anyone has been in that situation it is so horrible. You can’t stop yourself from liking somebody no matter who it is. Well it turned out that they kinda thought I was a bit alright too. I was mega happy and thought it was going to be all ‘happy ever after’, that didn’t happen. The lad that I fell for is my housemate… Christ! Come on Danielle you know better than that.

Anyone that knows me would know that that is certainly something that I did not want to happen at all. The fact that I am in my third year at uni and recently got promoted does not help. I am such a stressy pants all the time. Could I really have a boyfriend.

We got on so well and thought we should give it a go. Why not ehh. Well I shall just say that was a silly thing to do. It made me like him even more and now that we have said we should just be friends it feels bloody rubbish! I am not at all an emotional person but this week has been hellish, I’ve been unbelievably upset by everything.

I have asked lots of my friends for advice on what to do. That hasn’t helped one bit. Someone very close to me told me ‘that if a lad likes you then they will do whatever they can to be with you’ and the fact that we live together means that they are ‘proper feelings’. Her words just stick with me and I keep thinking has he tried as much as he could/can. I just don’t know, I am not really a talker when it comes to feelings and I would rather not say how I feel. That was really hard for him. But the fact that he lives with me and still likes me, I’m just shocked! I have been told how terrible I look in a morning and to be very honest I don’t really care how I look around the house either. He must need glasses right!

Now everything is over though and we are just friends, it is so horrible. All of the time I just want to go and give him a cuddle and be how we were, before. I feel like I don’t really know how to be around him anymore and what is acceptable to act like.

I don’t even know how to finish this. I don’t want things to be how they are. Yet can I be with my housemate. 

I am so torn.

Yet there is nothing that I can do about it now. It is too late.