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You know what, I am not the type of girl to be all lovey dovey but to have someone like that would be amazing.

I don’t really like showing lads how I feel hence why I’m “too sarcastic or just plain mean”.

Lads seem to always think girls want serious relationships and to be honest, no I don’t want to marry you but let’s just see how things go.

Normally I play it too not botheredy (if that’s even a word) and I come across not interested, but tell me, how can a girl be interested without coming across too keen? Okay to the lad I don’t come across keen or even interested but inside and to my friends I am crazy about them.

I can’t see a balance between too keen and not interested. I kinda feel I’m back to year nine where I don’t really know how to act around lads (okay a certain lad).

I don’t want to risk being too proud/embarrassed to say the truth but do I really want to not say anything at the same time?

Half of me is telling myself grow up Danielle he is a silly crush and you are thinking a little (lot) above your level of hotness…

And the other,

Go for it girl what you got to lose? Other than your dignity and embarrass yourself. So not a lot really.

I guess at heart no matter how old we are when it comes down to “love” we are all as clueless as each other. We just need to rely on the good advice of our friends to help us out and lead us to the right decision.

A Taste of America

Today one of my dreams has just been shattered.

I am meant to be reading as after the whole three weeks I have had off I have read about one page of one book. Slightly pooing myself as assignments are starting to get thrown at us and the seminar I have tomorrow only has a number of seven students (this is the only thing I agree with Mitt Romney with, class sizes shouldn’t be that small!! I can’t even hide the fact I haven’t read the book and there is no chance it will be finished for tomorrow at 9am).

I just had to bring a taste of America to my blog, by taste I mean, I am now going to shove in your face all about my trip to Florida. Although everything was amazing, there were two very key events of the holiday that will just be imprinted in my memory forever.

Swimming with dolphins. Like come on! Who wouldn’t want to swim with dolphins! I know I had said to my mum days before I wasn’t that bothered but as soon as I knew we was actually doing it I was instantly excited. Not to mention the excitement I felt just before I got into the water with them and let me tell you that it wasn’t just because I was stupidly hot in the body suit I was wearing (that I really didn’t want to take off, one of the most ugliest things I have fallen in love with), the freezing water cooled me down almost instantly. I actually got the privilege to kiss the salty lips of Roxy the dolphin. I just couldn’t turn down Roxy.

The second thing, I just can’t describe how inspired I am by it! When our mini agenda for the day was planned out I wasn’t that bothered about seeing some killer whales doing tricks, it was more about the dolphins. But oh my god! The Shamu show was incredible. There really is no words I can use to explain just how in awe I am of the Shamu clam and the trainers. We sat in the splash zone and it is not a splash zone it is a hell of a lot more than that! We was all soaking wet! But that is the beauty of it. Okay I admit the salt water getting thrown at us wasn’t amazing but the vibe, let me say no more.

When we came to deciding what we wanted to do/see again I made it clear that I wanted to see the Shamu show again. But this time we sat where we was able to take pictures, yes it was still good but I didn’t get the same feel as I did when I sat in the splash zone. I am not an emotional person but the show brought tears to my eyes. For anyone that knows me well you will get how good it actually was! I’m not a crier.

So here is why I am totally and utterly heartbroken. I want to be a whale trainer.

Yes laugh all you want but I want a career that I can inspire people. So my plan was if teaching doesn’t work out for me I’ll just go to SeaWorld and be a whale trainer in the Shaum show. Well I thought wrong!! You have to have like a degree in marine biology! Like what!!! Me biology! Be able to dive (I’m more of a belly flop kind of girl) and swim really fast. Im currently in bed stuffing face with chocolate to hide the fact that I could have been a really good whale trainer if they would have given me an easier way to be one. I was really good at training my dog to do tricks, I never ever got mad at her or anything (had to have a little sarcasm in there)!

But don’t worry guys, if this whole English thing doesn’t work out I will just have to get myself a degree in marine biology!

Just like to say a massive thank you to my mumsie who took us to Florida.

Dreams really do come true!

Freshers Week Take Two

Second year of uni new start right…

So I’m living in a new house with different people from last year. Massive relief, as most of you have already read my blog about one of the people I lived with last year, who I just couldn’t get on with. Well this year I am living with one of my very bestest friends. Now there are not many people I will just go into their room and get in their bed or many people I would cook for (this is partly because she tried to feed me raw chicken!) or there isn’t many people that I would share chocolate with. True friendship right. One night we were both in bed reading in bed and sharing a nougat bar another housemate comes in and laughs at us because we are old ladies. But all that makes living in one of the most horriblest houses in maybe the WORLD bearable.

I wanted to start this year off being really good and reading most of the books before I came back, okay this is me, it never happened. But if I am completely honest, I didn’t read many books last year, perhaps four! Let me just tell you I had to read four books a fortnight… Yes I was a bad student! But fresh start this year and I believe I have already read four books and we are only just going onto doing some proper work!!  The only trouble is how am I meant to keep up with all this reading and have a life?

I saw a tweet the other day that said something along the lines of ‘you can only have two of these things: a social life, good grades or enough sleep.’ So yes like everyone I said I would rather not get enough sleep but surely sleep is the key thing to being able to achieve good grades but to also keep up a good social life, I have said many times “ohh I can’t be bothered to go out tonight, I’d rather sleep.”  These first two weeks we haven’t hit the clubs hard, okay we had a crazy house party but we haven’t been out every night and if I’m honest the nights we have been out haven’t been as good as last year. Are we now getting too old for all these excitable Freshers?!

So just to quickly round up year two has a horrible (I forgot to mention spider infested) house, a hell of a lot more reading and me growing old before my time. Now normally things come in threes, well not this time, I am yet to tell you all that my favourite lecturer has left!!!

Mark (the best lecturer ever!! You make think I’m being biased but no word of a lie, the best) has left my uni and has left me with lecturers I have never had before and ones that will defiantly not put up with me being a little bit of a monkey in lecturers and also would not be bribed with chocolate and sweets. I was in a seminar and no one was feeling working I had to think on my feet to take one for the team “Mark what you up to this weekend?” every single person went quiet and then laughed, but the whole class happily had a chat about camping. This is something I will dearly miss about my second year; none of my lecturers are going to want to chat when they can be talking about some real interesting book.

Things change and yes we sometimes don’t want them to but without change how are we meant to grow. There is still I lot that I need to learn to do that I need to push my comfort zone to the side and think I just need to grab anything I can. I believe you won’t get to where you want to be if all you do is ‘be safe’. 

I Really Wouldn't Change My Friends For Anything

I’ve definitely been slacking with this whole blog writing fandango. Not being at uni should have meant I should have lots of time to write, well far bloody from it.

All I do with my life is work, for those that don’t know I work at McDonlads and don’t get me wrong I do love my job just when you are there all the time, well yeah you don’t love it as much.

Needless to say my job has recently got me into a little bother. I was very much looking forward to going to a festival with the uni girls, like a complete and utter idiot I fought I had booked it off, yeahh when the shifts went up my heart was in my mouth when I saw I was working the BANK HOLIDAY WEEKEND of the festival.  I was not stupid enough to even ask anyone about doing my late shifts as all the lucky buggers would have been hitting the town hard or at Reading or Leeds (grrrrrr).

The moment you have to tell your best friend that you can’t go to Reading is one of the worst things ever (I exaggerate a little, but it still wasn’t very nice).  And I did and still do feel like one of the worst friends ever. 

What choices did I have:

To ring work and say I wasn’t doing the shift, one I am not that brave, work would eat me alive and two I really didn’t want to lose my job.

Or to sell my ticket and not go, this leading to me being a terrible friend.

Okay I am rambling a little, there is a point I am trying to make.

What really makes someone a bad friend? Forgetting to book a weekend off work in my opinion is not that bad, okay be a little mad for a few days but at the same time realise it’s not just you that missed out on having your best friend at the festival they missed out on it all together.

And not talking to someone for what seems like forever until you two get close again and it feels like you can tell them everything. Not talking to someone can’t make a bad friend. In my eyes friendship isn’t about telling someone what you are doing when you are doing it (yes I did bbm my best friend telling her about my dog pooing a stupid amount on our walkies, but hey someone needs to laugh at the thought of it).

The fact is if anyone ever needed anything of me I really would try my hardest to help, need that be listen or to help with what they needed. The fact is I do think I am a good friend to most people and I hope people think I am a good friend to them.

Sometimes I guess you just need to think this will really hurt my friend so I’m not gonna do it or say it. Friendship is one of the best things in life, where the hell would we all be without it? 

Forget About Love, Lets Just Have Fun

I am not very good at expressing my feelings. Thinking about writing this blog is making me feel sick to my stomach. I find it hard showing how I feel about things never mind telling people. I am one of them kind of people that would rather people not know how I am feeling and what makes me tick because in my opinion they can hurt you more.

I find it hard to show affection to people, the only person who I am naturally lovey towards is my dog (the poor thing, I treat her like a baby). Okay so yes it is sad that I can only be caring and nice towards my dog but that really is just how am. Not only do I not like being loving to people but I have such a dislike for people be nice to me. Is it weird that I can only take complaints before I go out partying, well if I’m honest no I don’t think it is.

In my opinion there is nothing worse than drunken texts when people tell you that they love you. I have nothing again being in love and all that but in my personal opinion it takes years and years to fall in love with someone. I also don’t think you can be 15 and in love. I don’t get why everyone is so crazy about this whole love thing.

At the end of the day yes at some point in my life I want to fall in love but that really does need to be in the future, I just don’t think I can handle the thought of it at the moment.


Out of the stream and into the night,
A head and heart beginning to fight.
Time passes by, tick tock, tick tock,
The chains around your wrists prepare to lock.
Lack of control your head crumbles,
Your vicious heart strongly rumbles.
A female cries,
As your "I lovge you"'s rise and rise.
Fear, sorrow, anger, frustration,
Why couldn't you have had a little consideration?
Casting your emotional state onto someone else,
I hope you realise these feelings were false, false, false.
Your emotions heightened by what you'd call fun.
But you cannot undo what has already been done.
Humiliation is the expressions that is best to fit,
The question is, was the fight really worth it?

Why rust into something you have your whole life to live. Don’t get old and boring when you’re young. Your teens and early twenties are for living, partying and having as much fun as possible!

Summer means Fun

It’s the time of the year that everyone you know seems to be going on holiday or are very close to going on holiday. Am I jealous? Hell yes!! Who does not want to go on a lads holiday (yes I know I’m not male but a lads holiday sounds so much better than a girls holiday!)

I feel like a drinking holiday with your friends is something that needs to be done; it is just one of them rituals, a right of passage.

In-between the end of sixth form and going to university seems to everyone the ideal time to go and looking bad, I would most defiantly agree with that, as now I have finished my first year of university it feels like all I am doing is saving for when I go back!! If I am not saving so that I can pay my rent, I am saving for books for my course (why, why, why did I pick a bloody expensive course!) or I am saving so that I will be able to survive when I am at university, let’s face it can’t give up on the nightlife.

Let me tell you, this ‘saving’ business is not nice, I am working my bum off and by that I mean doing a seven day week last week. It is a bloody good job I love working there or my life would be almost unbearable (melodramatic I know). But seriously after a very stressful shift all I want to do is treat myself, I am not very good at stopping myself having a sneaky look on the Warehouse website, in my defence all they do is e-mail me, how am I expected to stay off the website when they tell me about all their offers? I am after all only human after all.

Anyway I am a true believer of everything happening for a reason so not having my holiday with my friends this year is not the end of the world but I just have to hope that things will be different next year and people will be able to afford to have an experience that will make their summers (and hopefully their lives (wishful thinking I know)).

So here’s my point even though I am not going on a drinking holiday I still want this summer to be one of the best summers I have had. I have so much to look forward to nights out with the girls, my birthday and READING!!

Yes I need to stop complaining about the holiday I am not going on as I am going to Reading festival but honestly this is most defiantly an amazing second best! I am already excited thinking about it and I can’t wait to write about it as I am very sure some classy things will happen that need to be shared.

So everyone make the most out of the summer, it really is the best season.

And girls take note I want a holiday next year ……

Awkward silence? Who needs that when you have your Girlies

I like every other girl like to tell my girls everything from boys to make up. There are not many people that know as much about me as my girlies do. Although I am a private person that likes to keep people from knowing my business but these people I do not minding knowing everything good and bad about me. But once something happens to break that trust in them how can everything be the same.

Recently something happened, someone said something and this has made me doubt how much of a friend someone is to you, where their loyalties lie and can I really trust them with my secrets. I know friendship is not all about being able to keep secrets; in my opinion it’s about being there for each other, spending time together when you can just sit and not talk for hours because there is no awkward silence and having a laugh together.

Yes I admit I am not the best person at keeping in regular contact with all my friends all the time. If that makes me a bad friend then think what you may, but if they needed me no matter what time of the day or what it was they needed I would do my very best to do what I could for them.

So I am stuck in the situation where I am unsure if to tell them I know what they have done or to just forget about it. I do not like conflict, if it is very necessary then it is acceptable but I would rather not be involved in an argument over silly things.

Just to state I may have just said that I do not want to argue over silly things but I have no idea if this issue I am in is a ‘silly thing’ or not. I don’t want to end a friendship because I am over reacting.

Although I may be over reacting by feeling totally betrayed by the whole thing I feel that I need them to tell me why they did what they did. They would be a fool to think that I would not find out what they did.

At the end of the day I would rather have a few friends I would trust with my life than lots and lots of friends that don’t care about me.

Everyone should laugh once a day

So as it is coming to the last few days of being at University me and my friends have been thinking about the year. About how we all became friends, which consisted of me and another girl sitting with this lad and he really did not like us but from there is really seems to be such a blur. I’d like to think I was always meant to be friends with these people, as they defiantly are friends I would like to have for life.

As this year has gone so quick and lots of funny things that have been said and done have been forgotten about. Now I cannot speak for everyone but I love hearing about funny things I have done when I am really drunk, to an extent I can laugh at myself. But recently we have been talking about funny things that I do when I haven’t been drunk.

For example, we are in our American seminar and we are talking about Las Vegas and I come out with something along the lines of “aren’t they making it less casinoy?” believe me when everyone laughed I felt so stupid I not only came out with a stupid comment but made up the word “casinoy”, this was all made a hell of a lot worse by my accent making it even more funny. Yes I felt like a complete idiot!

A lot of people pick up on my accent and say to me that I am Northern, well no I am not Northern I am from the Midlands, there is a difference. But maybe the worst first impression I gave was when at the beginning of the year our lecture was really empty, Mark the lecturer asked why, my reply in my Northern accent was “they’re all probably ‘angin’”. Everyone looked at me as if to say what on earth is she talking about. Although I am an English student yes it is acceptable to not talk the Queen’s English. (For those whole still are not sure what I meant, I meant hungover!) Damn my accent!

There have been some very good times this year in my lectures, some days I would go into University and be like, I really can’t be bothered to learn today, so I would just have a little chat with Mark (the lecturer), after he had done the register of course, that really was the best part of the seminars. In one of my lectures no one wanted to work, which is no surprise, everyone hates poetry right! So someone said to me, “come one Danielle keep him off topic”, I had no idea what to say so I came out with “So Mark what you up to at the weekend?” Yes everyone laughed and I did feel a little silly but it did the trick, we then talked about camping.

So less about actually being in University and more about the social side and what stupidly funny things I have done, believe me there have been plenty! Now I hope you all know the song 212, well I will admit it is one of my favourites at the moment, I made it my mission to learn the words to it. I cannot help myself but drag every word I say so having to fit all the words in such a short space is hard! As I wanted to show my best friend my well good efforts in learning all the words I recorded myself on my webcam as I do get a little embarrassed, when I showed her she laughed so much, yes at both my horrendous singing and at what an idiot I looked! (Please have a little vote and tell me if you think I should or shouldn’t start a video blog).

Another time I got videoed dancing to Wuthering Heights, another of my favourite songs yes. This video I have not seen, I would bloody love to as I was slightly drunk at the time and I really want to know how bad it is. Standing on your sofa dancing like a complete fool drunk is what everyone would find comedy gold. Unfortunately the video would not load onto Facebook, believe me I am as gutted as anything! I do like a little laugh at myself. Sorry guys I know I said I would not talk about funny drunken moments but this was just so classy of me I could not help but bring it up.

The point I am getting at is as I am looking at my extremely heavy case that I will have to run with tomorrow unless I am okay with missing my train (believe me I am not okay with that! An hour is a long time to wait) I have had a good time here, I’ve made so many memories and when I have sad days about missing this place and the friends I have made here I just want to think of all the funny things that have happened and also hope that I made people smile along the way.

So to anyone that I am leaving just think of the good times.

Look Down, Smile and Be Proud

I’m sorry guys I’m lowering the mood a little.

Everyone has a secret hobby that they are too embarrassed to tell anyone about, well mine is writing poems. I will not lie and say yes I’m so amazing at writing them; the truth is I am not too good at but hopefully I’ll get better with time and practice.

It is also no lie that I bloody love English.

The first proper death I experienced was when my Grandma died. This hit me hard. It hadn’t helped that the night I found out I had been enjoying myself drinking; this made me feel so incredibly guilty, I know that it is okay to have a little drink with your friends and have a good time but I just felt that I had let her down. It also did not help that I was a little drunk so snuck upstairs and got in bed. I had been in bed when I heard my mum and aunty talking and this was the moment that I found out that she had died. The moment you don’t know what to do, if to say something or if to be a wimp and pretend you hadn’t heard it. I did the second one. I wanted to pretend it was a dream. It wasn’t until my mum came in my room and told me that it really hit me. I had only spoken to her a few days ago, the conversation was so short, there was so many things I wished I would have said.

Something I want to make every member of my family is pride.

I wanted to do something to make her proud, even if I didn’t make it to University I wanted to dedicate something that meant a lot. So I went to my English teacher and asked her how to start writing a poem; she told me that ‘if you feel that deeply about it, it will come to you’. These words will stay with me forever.

I started writing

Speechless.

Not knowing, maybe, the worst thing in the world. The not knowing what a funeral is, the abstract noun, un definable. In my eyes a way of celebrating life, in others well a way of saying goodbye. Really is it goodbye? Or is it hello?

But how can such a word be sistered with love, hate, jealousy? Words which hold such power. This weak word seldomly used. Thinking deeply I'm wrong, the amount of raw emotion that goes into the single word is too extreme to bare to talk about in day to day lives. Like expletives!

The extreme contrast between celebrating and black. Does that make my opinion of it wrong? Who is to tell me that I am wrong, is everyone wrong or is everyone right and funeral really is un definable?

How can you really let go without celebrating? Celebrating doesn't mean forgetting, far from the opposite. To celebrate you remember, you remember the good times. You remember the bad times. You even remember what you thought you had forgotten.

Although it is one thing writing a poem it is another telling people about it let alone asking to read it at the funeral. As I am such a wimp I hid it from everyone for months and months. This is something I think I regret the most.

Everyone deals with things in different ways, if that be writing your thoughts and feelings down or if that be going and getting drunk, all you can ask for is that you have good enough friends that will look after you, be there for you and that you can talk to about anything.

I’d like to think that if anyone ever needed me I would be able to listen and give the best advice I can.

And Grandma, I hope you are looking down on me and smiling.

A Bit of Thursday Mornings

I’m sat here thinking of what exactly to write, I have been thinking all week that I wanted to write a new blog but nothing has really happened. Okay so yes lots of things have happened this week, my student loan came, so yes a definite shop was in order and I got to see most of my lovely University friends but other than catching up on everyone else’s gossip it has been so uninspiring (no offense guys!).

Normally I feel inspired after a night out, which I’m always out on a Wednesday so I thought I would find something that would get the words flowing but no… nothing.

Although I do love a night out, I think I love talking about what happened almost as much the day after. It is a Thursday morning ritual for me to walk into my early morning lecture (looking lovely and rough) and just retell the night out to the Education girls. This week I unfortunately did not go to this lecture because it was about next year’s modules and I am changing course also getting up at eight o’clock was not very appetising at four o’clock when I got into bed. I think that has been one of the most disappointing moments of my week not going in and believe me it has been disappointing, returning to an empty house at Northampton to have NO INTERNET was a very low moment.

I’m not sure if when I get into the lecture and quickly spill the night out to the girls if they enjoy it as much as me but it has become one of them weekly things, a must do. I’m also not sure if it is a good or bad thing they started to expect me to spill out all the details of my week’s antics. But to think that this ritual is never going to happen again makes me think just how fast this year has actually gone. Although I do love a Thursday I loved a Monday and a Tuesday as well (yes three day week, not too hard a life).

I walked into my lecture on Monday, okay a tiny bit late but very stressed to find that I had a gold star, yes I said right, my lecturer had given all the good attenders gold stars, because they are obviously amazing. And then the same lecturer gave me another gold sticker only this one was even better because it said “amazing work” it even had a picture of a cat on as well. Sometimes it really is the littlest things that make your day, the sticker made up for the fact he did not bring us chocolate. Everyone loves a bit of chocolate lets be honest.

There is always going to be a chance for belated Thursday morning chats and there is always going to be little things that make your day. Be positive and live life to the full and nothing can go wrong.

Always try your best to be true to yourself

And it Started With a 'Schlong'

As many of you know I get Facebook raped a hell of a lot. Whenever my laptop or phone gets taken over by my friends I am either pregnant, doing a poo or having some crazy stuff going off.  So the other night I was out with my mum and step dad having an Indian. Now I do love an Indian but my god they took forever, even my mum was going on Facebook, this is when the meal when so wrong…
 

Out my mother’s mouth came “what is a schlong”. I will not lie, I have never heard of it before but I had a good idea what it was. Yes, you are all thinking what made my mum come out with this whilst I am waiting for my chicken korma? My little sister had a status telling everyone how her boyfriend has a big schlong. Cringe!!

 

So I had a little look on my Blackberry to make sure it meant what I thought it meant and my gosh the loudest “eghhhhhh” came out my mouth. At this moment I wanted to throw my Blackberry out of a window, if I’m honest I want to do this most of the time anyway but the moment you have to explain what a ‘schlong’ is I had never hated my Berry more than at this moment.

 

I thought it was only best to show (I did not want to read out as then it would have been even more cringe worthy) my mum and step dad the Urban distortionary definition.

“A cock with substantial thigh-slapping length and girth.”

This may have been one of the horriblest moments for me in the last week. After my mother and step dad knew what a schlong was they kept on and on making jokes about them even on Facebook. Yes I know how embarrassing.

 

I thought that my sister had actually written this status, although I am not sure if I fully believe that her boyfriend, who is trying to make a good impression, would frape her when she has her family on Facebook. I just don’t know and I actually don’t want to know.

So this made me think should you really have family as friends on Facebook? I personally am not too bothered when I get fraped even when it’s rude or a bit disgusting they know it isn’t me so why should they be too bothered. I guess because I am at University my family just want to see what I am up to (and have a nosey on my going out pictures) which does not bother me at all, everyone likes a bit of a Facebook stalk now and again.

I think you have to look at it like this, Facebook is just a bit of fun, a bit of something to pass the time, it is not life or death, and whatever goes off on it whatever who really cares. Facebook means so much to everyone when really it shouldn’t mean that much.

Try Your Best To Be True To Yourself.

Annoying Housemates

Have you ever been so annoyed by someone you just want to scream? Well this is one of them feelings I get very often when I am around a certain person and even when I am not around them they could have done something little and it would ruin my day.

I am currently living with someone in my student house that I just don’t like. I tried so hard at the start of the year to get along with them but they made it so hard. A few weeks ago it got to a point where I just could not stand them. I was that angry I wrote a horrible letter. I did not send this letter but now that this housemate has become ten times worse.

Housemate,

Now I don’t really care if you like living here or not because you clearly don’t and that’s nothing to do with me, it’s just because you are quite frankly strange!

Just because you don’t like living here does not mean that you can take this p*** about it! It is not fair on all living here. For example, using other people’s tooth paste, like seriously what is wrong with buying your own?! It isn’t that expensive, surely you can afford that because all you do is drive everywhere.

Then there is the whole toilet roll situation. Like you use loads when you go for your morning poo (leaving skid marks every time it would take you all of two seconds to clean after yourself) how many loo rolls have you got yet you use other peoples? If it was the other way round you really would not like it.

You never ever put the bins out, I will in fact be shocked if you have put them out once. It’s not that I mind putting them out but not when people take the p*** about it (and that is what you are doing) The only way I would be okay without you putting the bins out is if you didn’t put anything in the bin or recycling. Which you don’t really recycle anyway no matter how easy it is for you to do.

It has also come to my notice that there is a collection of plastic bags outside our house, this must be down to you. What is your problem?! That can be classed as littering and I will not be happy if our house gets fined for it. Also thank you for leaving your chips from Thursday night outside, we shall be getting rats if you do stupid things like that. I could understand if you was say 15 but you are 20 years of age, surely you know better?

Also it is very frustrating when you leave your dirty dishes, no one in this house is your mother and I god hope you don’t treat your mum like this because it is disgusting if you do. Just washing your plate does not make up for the knives and forks and the tray or pans you use.

Shaving. Now I know you have to shave but that really does not mean that you can leave all your hairs around the sink (yes you haven’t been as bad about this but it’s still unclean and honestly minging) and just all over the bathroom. This is meant to be our house yet it is horribly unclean.

It really annoys me how you leave all the lights on and go out. Not only the lights but the telly as well, it really doesn’t take much to just turn everything off. You say you do this at home but you realise that our house as it is is pushing the bills. The boiler is always heating up and whatever it does, I don’t think any of us need the extra money coming out our loans to pay for the lights being left on. Plus it annoys people leaving lights on.

You may use the “I’m never hear” excuse but personally that does not work on me, you are hear enough to contribute to this household.

I may be horrible to live with but to be very honest I don’t think that all these points are a lot to ask to sort out.

Many thanks A Very Annoyed Housemate.

Now looking back I am glad I did not send this letter as it is horrible and I would be very upset to receive this. This made me think how exactly are you to go about changing how people are. Do you say something to them no matter how hard it may be to say something? Do you just ignore it and forget about everything they are doing that annoys you?

The University year is nearly over for me so I am just going to let this housemate get on with it because I only have another two/three weeks to put up with them and then I will most likely never see them again

 

Try your best to be true to yourself.

It All Started With A Sky Dive

It was recently one of my dearest friends’ birthdays and she got a sky dive as a present from her sister. If my Bister did anything like that for me I would just be so touched! (After watching Katie and Peter me and my sister started calling each other Bister like Junior calls Princess, sad but I do love my Bister). Yes I am very happy for her as it really is an amazing gift but I secretly want to knock her out because I would bloody love to do it instead of her. So this got me thinking yes I know where I want to end up in life but I want to have some fun along the way. So I wanted to write a mini bucket list (mini because I don’t want to think about death yet, far too daunting) before I get to being this all amazing English teacher. Let me just note these are in no particular order.

Number One:  Sing Wuthering Heights Kate Bush style in a karaoke bar.

It is no secret of mine that I love Wuthering Heights, I love the novel, I love Emily Bronte and I love the song. In a past life I truly believe that me and Emily (Bronte) were best friends and if I could have even the smallest of chats with her today I think I would bite my own arm off so that I could actually see what she was like and I’ll just put out I’m not a fan of catabolism.

I used to sing Wuthering Heights all day every day at sixth form; I do not sing it at all anymore. I want to go back to not caring what people think of my singing voice, and please believe me when I tell you if you had the pleasure of hearing me singing Wuthering Heights you would find it life changing!

Number Two: Get a tattoo.

What I really, really, really want is, okay I am a little embarrassed to say this but a Wuthering Heights quote. I just need to again express how much I do love it! I have some of the best memories from studying this novel at sixth form. One of the best moments for me when making and eating an “I AM HEATHCLIFF” cake, it was the most beautiful and tastiest cakes ever!

Number Three: Travel

I know the UK is so small and although it makes me feel so insignificant to think about how big the world is I just don’t feel like I could live a life without seeing as much as I could. Me and my Bister said we would travelling in America after I have finished University, yes I cannot wait, but I would like to travel more than America. This is where I need get myself organised and get some friends together and plan, or maybe get someone who is a lot more organised to come along and plan it all so I don’t have the stress of it all.

Number Four: See a Shakespeare Play

Ever since doing the most amazing Shakespeare play Much Ado About Nothing I have always wanted to see one of his plays. I do not mind what one I saw I just really like Shakespeare and when I saw that for my next year modules there is a whole module on him, I very nearly cried!!

Number Five: Go on a girls holiday

I suppose this is linked into Number Three, but by a girls holiday I mean a drinking holiday. Yes I know a lot of you who know me well know that me and drink do not go together very well, but I missed out on going for a girly holiday before University and I feel like I am very much missing out. Recently I have been getting myself into a complete state every time I go out, the best thing about the day after you go out is your friends telling you what happened. In my case it is never good but this girl that does and says very embarrassing things is defiantly not me, hence why I haven’t been put off drinking. Although a girl’s holiday would ruin my liver I feel that it needs to be done.

Number Six: Apply for Big Brother or Coach Trip

I have always wanted to go on Big Brother and I was truly gutted when Channel 4 said they were axing it. It is typical that as soon I am old enough to apply that they axe it. Now that they have brought Big Brother to Channel Five I don’t think I could go on it, the rating for it cannot be that good plus I would have much preferred Davina interviewing me. So I think I shall need to apply for second best and go on holiday with Brendan instead.

Number Seven: Go to Carnage

Yes I know most people coming close to the end of their first year at University have been to Carnage but as I go to Northampton University our first Carnage was cancelled. So when it came to the day of the reorganised one you can imagine I was very much looking forward to it! But due to unfortunate circumstances I did not make it out that evening, waking up the next morning to find that half of my body was so bruised and sore and that I hadn’t even cut my top up. This I feel is one of them nights that I regret; I regret not making it out and regret lowering the mood for everyone else who went out that night.

Can Any Break Up Really Be Easy?

After listening to many Adele song I just can’t make myself feel better about a break up that was meant to be (yes I know Adele isn’t the right person to listen to but she knows exactly how I am feeling). I don’t believe what I had with them was meant to be forever but I suppose every eighteen year old girl feels like that when she has a boyfriend, although this boyfriend was more than just a ‘bit of fun’ I did really like him and I did care for him hence why I had to break it off because one way or another we both would have ended up getting hurt…

All lads treat girls the same. They lie and tell a girl that they like them but they are not only telling me that they are telling several girls the same thing. They tell them that they like them and then the next thing you know they either have a girlfriend or they tell you that they don’t want a relationship with someone from work. My life story. The moment that you really like a guy he just seems to ruin it,

In this case I ended it. And I still stick by my choices for ending it because I needed to. I really did not want to hurt this lad I was with and I am not the kind of person that would be not able to hurt a lad. Even if I tried I would still find a way of breaking a lads heart. Well saying that I mean if they didn’t break my heart first…

So this lead me to the conclusion that what are you meant to do when you do not want to hurt someone but they are instant to tell you that you really hurt them. Now I am someone that feels really bad when I upset someone but that doesn’t mean that I should cave in and say lets give it another go when I know that it isn’t working for me.

But how do you know when to say “look I am going to hurt you so stop caring about me”? It is easy for me to sound distance texting or bbming and it is even easy for me to sound distance talking on the phone, because deep down I know  that I am doing the right thing. Maybe it isn’t the right think for the other person but it is the right thing for me at that time of my life.

How can you make someone believe that they are not good enough for you? When is it okay to say “please let go of me, I am not worth your feelings”, when? Because I think everyone needs this advice!!

It is one of them points in my life when I do and don’t want someone to tell me what to do. I want to be told because I just don’t know what is right and what is wrong to do but I don’t because if I do it and it is wrong for me I will blame them and I really don’t know if I would be able to forgive them for giving me bad advice….

Try your best to be true to yourself

First Blog, Wish Me Luck

Since starting university in September I was a nice normal lovely girl, maybe a little bit boring but who isn’t?

Then BAM I am thrown into the world of living on my own, making new friends and finding myself. The last one is maybe the hardest of them all. Actually forget the maybe, it IS the hardest of them all. I am fine with living on my own I never really felt like I clicked in my household, and friend wise yes I didn’t have many friends but they were good friends and that’s all anyone would want to ask for, right? But finding myself is something that I am still trying to do, I am doing thing I never ever thought I would be doing and acting like this person I just don’t recognise. Not only do I not recognise this person I am becoming I am not sure if I want to become this horrible girl that messes people around and has no morals.

So how do I stop myself becoming this mess of a girl? How am I going to draw a line between the me I used to be and the now me and find an in between that I fit into. I wouldn’t be able to go back to being boring and honestly a nobody.

I have never been the most confident of girls, I would have never gone up to a lad in a club and start chatting and dancing with them but this girl now is so confident she, I quote got called “too forward” this lad that called me that was most likely a munter because no lads are amazingly hot from the university I go to but the pre drinking had got to me (no change there, but that is another story completely). Before September I would have been waiting for a lad to come up to me and if they would have I would have been too shy to do anything about it.

What I am trying to say (which I haven’t expressed very well) is that is confidence really a good thing? I don’t know if guys find it attractive, when I go out I really do not care I just go on up and if they knock me back who cares there are plenty more lads that I can have a cheeky flirt with. And why shouldn’t I like who I am becoming? We are told constantly to love who we are, but who actually loves who they are?

Because I’m guessing no one ….

Try your best to be true to yourself