A Facebook Stalk

Let me just close Facebook and have a moment.

Sometimes it just takes one person, hat you trust their opinion, to be like “look, what are you doing girl? Sort yourself out”.

Okay so it wasn’t as nicely put together as that, although if someone had said that it would have done the trick. But if I was to word it exactly how they had it would one embarrass me and to be honest I can’t remember.

This was said because I do and I will! After they thought that were harsh but tough love is the best, I would rather have the harsh truth.

So after this I was trying to make myself feel a little better by just having a gander at people on Facebook, finding out the gossip and that but then I came across someone that I just couldn’t get off their profile.

This is so hard. Writing blogs drunk is so much easier, that’s most likely because I don’t care. But now I just feel like I don’t want to be too open on here.

Okay, so in the past I have really liked lads and silly me has just been having a Facebook stalk. OMG like how desperate – that’s what everyone’s thinking right because I would if someone said that. But hello! Everyone does it.

So, yeah, there’s this certain lad and it just ended really badly. I like to just have a little look on his profile every now and again (even though we aren’t friends). I just like to see how he is doing.

I know it’s bad. I should just stay away from his profile, but it is so hard.

I just feel that I regret how things have worked out. I am in no way saying that I want to be with him because I really don’t, everyone knows when relationships aren’t gonna work, this one wasn’t. But I do think that it wouldn’t have been that bad if we would have still been friends.

One of the worst parts is that he text me on my birthday, it was such a lovely thoughtful thing to do and I was a bit taken back by it. I wasn’t as nice as I should have been I was very offhand with him but to be honest it was my birthday and it was a busy day. So when it came to his birthday I didn’t do anything. Now I feel really bad but at the time I had my excuse:

·         .I don’t have his number

·        .We aren’t Facebook friends

·         .I’m not friends with any of his friends

·         .I just couldn’t private mail him seen as the last things that we said aren’t pleasant and I wouldn’t have wanted anyone to reread them.

What I really want to do is pick up a pen and write him a letter. I find it so much easier actually writing things down.

I know full well that once something has happened you cannot change it. And I know I previously said that I regret it but if it hadn’t have happened then I wouldn’t have learnt and grew from the experience.

In life I like to think things happen for a reason, this gives me hope that my actions can never fully (I want to say destroy but I feel it’s too powerful) mess my life up.